| Tuesday last I awoke from my nightly
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| | one, they are the ones who wield the
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| slumber with terrific pain in my chest,
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| | needles in the ER.
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| much like an elephant break-dancing on my
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| | Nurses have two kinds of needles. One,
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| chest. It was painful just to breathe,
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| | they have the nice sharp pointy needles
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| but like the trooper I am, I shrugged it
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| | that pierce the epidermis with the
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| off and set about my daily routine.
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| | greatest of ease causing the least amount
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| Rather than improving, the pain
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| | of discomfort.
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| intensified.
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| | The second type is reserved for those
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| I went to my office and started the day's
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| | certain patients, and you know who you
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| work only to find it almost impossible.
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| | are, that cross them. I'm referring to
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| Fortunately, my one daughter is a
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| | the square point needles that gouge the
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| paramedic with the fire department and
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| | flesh. I'm proud to say I experienced the
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| the other is an EMT with the county
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| | former.
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| ambulance service. Sitting at my desk, I
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| | The second has to do with hospital
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| saw the vehicles pull into the church
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| | bedpans. What deranged person
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| office parking lot.
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| | masterminded this dysfunctional
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| Within a few minutes, my office was
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| | appliance? Some research must be funded
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| filled with EMTs and paramedics. (Someone
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| | by the government to track this person or
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| and I'll mention no name, only to say
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| | persons down and have them executed.
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| this person who lives at the same address
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| | Normally I'm not a violent man. My
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| as I, squealed on me.) Their unified
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| | philosophy is "live and let live."
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| mission was convincing a rather stubborn
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| | However, hospital bedpans are not normal
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| preacher to go to the hospital. According
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| | and are deliberately designed to
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| to their examination, it was possible I
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| | malfunction every time. Don't ask me how
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| was having a heart attack.
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| | I know, I just do. If not executed, then
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| Who knew I even had a heart?
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| | they should be confined to a hospital bed
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| Each took turns persuading me that I
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| | for the rest of their life and I have
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| needed to go to the hospital. Their
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| | just the bedpan for them.
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| strategy was to wear me down. To my
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| | The third thing I discovered in the
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| credit, it took half a dozen to do the
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| | hospital has to do with those x-rated
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| job. The ambulance was outside and in a
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| | hospital gowns. They come in
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| few minutes, so they assured me, they
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| | one-size-fits-all. That's all right if
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| could have me in the emergency room.
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| | you happen to be 3'6."
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| "What about it, Reverend," a good-
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| | Unless a person is dyslexic, it takes no
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| looking paramedic said, "how about going
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| | rocket scientist to see I am a bit larger
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| to the hospital?"
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| | than 3'6." I just happen to be 6'3" and
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| "Okay," I finally agreed, "but I'm not
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| | have never been mistaken for a midget. I
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| going in the ambulance, I've already
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| | have no idea what these so-called gowns
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| mortgaged my house."
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| | were designed for but it was not for
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| I was escorted to my paramedic daughter's
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| | modesty.
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| jeep and away we went to the ER.
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| | In fact, there is some evidence that
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| When we arrived at the hospital, they
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| | patients in the psychiatric ward of the
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| rushed me into the emergency room and
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| | hospital designed the hospital gown as a
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| started working on me.
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| | group therapy project. It has absolutely
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| After a few hours, I came to myself
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| | no practical - or impractical for that
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| (which is a shock in and of itself) and
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| | matter - purpose in this life. The
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| discovered my chest had been shaven. Now,
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| | hospital gown could be classified as the
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| what I need to know is, once shaved
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| | cross-purpose-driven garment.
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| always shaved? Just a theological ruse.
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| | Several days have passed since leaving my
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| In examining my chest, I discovered I had
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| | hospital oasis, giving me some time for
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| 17 nipples of which all but two were
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| | reflection. The hardest thing for a
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| hooked up to some monitoring system. When
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| | person like me is to wait. I have my
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| a person, such as I, is in a dazed
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| | agenda and I dare the person to stand in
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| confused condition, this is enough to
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| | my way.
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| create a heart attack.
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| | God, however, has devised marvelous ways
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| The medical staff put me through all the
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| | of incorporating into our daily regime
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| tests they had in their diagnostic
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| | opportunities to practice this illusive
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| arsenal. Evidently I had crammed the
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| | virtue.
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| night before because I passed all the
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| | A passage from the Psalms keeps running
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| their tests with flying colors. Although
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| | through the back of my mind. "My soul,
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| I passed the tests the pain in my chest
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| | wait thou only upon God; for my
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| continued.
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| | expectation is from him. He only is my
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| During my medical odyssey, I discovered
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| | rock and my salvation: he is my defense;
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| three things.
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| | I shall not be moved. In God is my
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| The first has to do with nurses, which
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| | salvation and my glory: the rock of my
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| are the first line of defense in a
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| | strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust
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| medical situation. Sometimes n and I'm
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| | in him at all times; ye people, pour out
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| not complaining, just grateful n they are
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| | your heart before him: God is a refuge
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| the only lines of defense. Certainly,
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| | for us. Selah." (Psalms 62:5-8 KJV.)
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| they are the link to everything a person
| |
| | Nurses, bedpans and X-rated hospital
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| needs.
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| | gowns are not the real issues of a
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| It is extremely important to keep on good
| |
| | hospital stay. Trusting God in adversity
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| terms with these angels of mercy. For
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| | is the most important.
|
